作者： system

學校班主任比你想像更重要

system

撰文：許龍杰醫生

兒童精神病學 (Child Psychiatry) 首要處理的課題，是要分辨小朋友的行為是正常還是失常，而正常與否，就應跟據兒童發展心理學 (Child Developmental Psychology) 的規律作判斷。但在現實情況下，難道家長要找來一大堆兒童發展的專書，對著教科書來觀察孩子嗎？這實在費時失事。而其中一個較為簡單的方法是：問一問孩子的學校班主任。

大家有聽過小朋友會年年升班，小一升小二、小三升小四，但有聽過老師會升班的嗎？一般而言，很多老師都會經年累月教授同一級別的學生，年資長一點的老師，更可能十多年都對著相同歲數的小朋友。如此累積下來，接觸同一歲數的學生可能數以百計。

兒童的發展評估首重同齡兒童之間的比較，把大量的數據樣本以統計學的方法，釐定正常與不正常的參考定義。一位資歷豐富的老師，她本身的教學經驗裡已包含了相當大的樣本數量 (sample size)，可以據之判斷何謂正常和不正常。

比方說，今年9月小一開學，一位班主任又要面對一班30人的新同學。在評核每一位個別同學之時，班主任都會在腦海中不自覺地把眼前的小朋友，跟以往教過的同一年齡學生作出比較。假如在比較之下，發覺學生有點「不妥」、「怪怪地」，這種感覺其實已經有統計學上的意義！只是老師們不自知。

很多家長都對學校和老師有很大的不信任。筆者也觀察到，學校和老師有一些常見的評估盲點（例如普遍對成績好的同學的行為標準較寛鬆）。但要記著，家長每天對著的，只是自己那 1、2 個子女，但學校和老師，對著的可是上百個學生。要分辨小朋友的情緒和行為是正常還是不正常，學校和老師的意見，絕對有參考價值。

未分類未分類

Marital Conflicts: Suffering the Children

文章作者由system
发布日期 19/02/2025
Marital Conflicts: Suffering the Children无评论

system

Written by: Marriage and Family Therapist, Child Play Therapist, Lee Wai Zi

The arrival of a child often brings significant changes to a family. Many times, parents become so busy taking care of and educating their children that they inadvertently neglect the quality of their marital life. Over time, their relationship may become reduced to a series of responsibilities and pressures. I once heard a friend say that every day after work, he would mechanically check his children’s homework and supervise their studying, while his wife took care of their meals and routines. By the time they could finally rest, it was often late at night, and even if they had some energy left to talk, their conversations revolved solely around their children’s academic performance. Sometimes, they didn’t even have enough time to rest themselves, let alone care for or respond to each other’s needs.

In my counseling experience, I have encountered many couples facing difficulties in their marriage, and they all agree that their relationship began to suffer after the birth of their child. Most people would think this is due to differing expectations and educational methods regarding their children, or an unequal distribution of roles and responsibilities in parenting, leading to conflicts.

However, the vast majority of couples express that they do not necessarily need their partner to agree with their thoughts or actions. The crux of the issue lies in the fact that when they confront parenting and various life pressures, they often feel a lack of recognition, support, and acceptance from their spouse, leading both parties to feel isolated and helpless. This gradually undermines the trust and emotional connection between them.

It is perfectly normal for couples to have different educational philosophies and methods. Yet, during the parenting process, parents often resort to ineffective and destructive methods to handle their differences, unintentionally creating a negative cycle of interaction. For example, a wife might complain about their child’s disobedience in front of her husband, or express dissatisfaction that he is not helping with household chores and parenting responsibilities. The wife’s intention in expressing her frustrations is to make her husband understand her worries and concerns, and to gain his support and comfort.

However, the husband usually only perceives his wife’s complaints and criticisms. To protect himself from emotional harm, he may remain silent or repeatedly explain and defend himself, hoping for his wife’s understanding and acceptance. The more the husband explains, the more the wife feels unvalued and misunderstood, leading her to escalate her accusations. The more she accuses, the more helpless the husband feels, prompting him to avoid the situation and defend himself even more. Both partners become victims within this negative cycle of interaction. If parents do not promptly confront and resolve the deadlock in their relationship, it will not only prolong and exacerbate the issues, but it may ultimately harm their children.

The health of a family and its children is built upon a strong emotional connection between the couple. Therefore, for the sake of themselves and their children, parents should consider spending more time nurturing the love between them. A happy marriage will naturally allow children to grow up healthy and joyful.

未分類未分類未分類

夫妻衝突苦了孩子

system

撰文：婚姻及家庭治療師

　　　兒童遊戲治療師　李慧芝

每當有孩子出世，都會為家庭帶來轉變。很多時候，父母因忙於照顧及管教子女，都會容易忽略自己婚姻生活的質素，久而久之，夫妻生活變得只剩下一堆責任和壓力。筆者曾經聽過一位朋友說，他每天下班回家，都是流水作業式地替子女檢查功課，督導孩子溫習，太太則照顧他們的飲食和作息，到了夫婦倆可以休息的時候，往往已是夜深，即使還有餘力和太太談上幾句，說的都只是子女的學業成績和表現。有時甚至連自己休息的時間尚且不夠，更莫說要關心和回應配偶的需要。

在筆者的輔導經驗中，曾經遇過很多婚姻關係出現困難的夫婦，他們都不約而同地認為他們關係出現問題，是由子女出世後開始。一般人會認為，這是因為父母對子女的期望和教育方法不同，又或在培育子女的角色和責任上分配不均，而導致關係的衝突。

然而，絕大多數的夫婦卻表示，他們不一定要對方認同自己的想法或做法，問題的關鍵在於當他們面對育兒及各種生活壓力時，往往因為感受不到配偶的重視、支持和接納，以致雙方都陷入孤單和無助的境況，漸漸地破壞彼此間的信任和情感連結。

夫妻間有不同的教育理念和方法，本是很平常和自然的事。但在育兒的過程中，父母容易重複以無效和具破壞性的方法，處理彼此的分歧，令關係不知不覺地形成負向互動循環。例如妻子會在丈夫面前抱怨孩子不聽話，甚至埋怨丈夫沒有幫忙分擔家事和育兒的責任，太太表達不滿的目的是希望丈夫明白自己的憂慮和困擾，並得到丈夫的支持和安慰。

然而，丈夫往往只能接收到太太的批評和指責，而為了保護自己免受傷害，他們或許會默不作聲，或是多番解釋和替自己辯護，期望得到太太的體諒和接納。丈夫愈解釋，太太就愈感到不被重視和明白，因而愈加指責。而太太愈指責，又會令丈夫愈感到無助，並愈加逃避和防衛。夫婦倆既是這負向互動循環中的一員，又是互動循環下的受害者。假如父母沒有及時正視和處理關係的僵局，不但會令問題持續和惡化，最終也可能會苦了孩子。

家庭和孩子的健康，建基於夫婦倆穩固的情感連結。因此，為了自己和孩子，不妨花多點時間孕育與伴侶間的愛情。只要父母婚姻美滿，孩子自然能健康快樂地成長。

News

Notice on Our Kindergarten’s Fun Channel Videos

文章作者由system
发布日期 04/02/2025
Notice on Our Kindergarten’s Fun Channel Videos无评论

Dear Parents/Guardians,

Learning goes beyond just sitting in a classroom; it can also be active! Tung Wah Group of Hospitals Kindergarten has a climbing wall that encourages children to participate in physical activities, helping them develop their large muscles and improve their coordination.

Engaging in sports can also inspire children’s development! At our kindergarten, children regularly take part in various physical activities, which not only promote a healthy lifestyle but also foster a love for sports, possibly leading to future athletic achievements.

Check Out the New Videos on Our Fun Channel:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1Lx9FyM4eZ/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/DFmjrqDTXba/?igsh=MWh2ZmZ5aW1zMmJ6dQ==

Yours faithfully,

TWGHs Tsui Tsin Tong Kindergarten

有關本院奇趣頻道影片事宜

各位家長：

學習不只是坐在課室裡，還可以動起來！東華三院幼稚園設有攀石牆，鼓勵小朋友運動之餘，透過攀爬訓練大肌肉發展，增強身體協調能力。

運動更能成為孩子成長的啟發！小朋友在東華三院幼稚園常常接觸不同的體能活動，不僅幫助建立健康體魄，還可點燃他們對體育的熱愛，甚至成為未來的運動小健將。

奇趣頻道新影片

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1Lx9FyM4eZ/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/DFmjrqDTXba/?igsh=MWh2ZmZ5aW1zMmJ6dQ==

東華三院徐展堂幼稚園謹啟

Training Young Minds: Brain Training Games

文章作者由system
发布日期 18/01/2025
Training Young Minds: Brain Training Games无评论

system

Written by: Ms. Carmen Leung, part-time lecturer for Bachelor of Education in OUHK

DHA is merely a nutrient that supports brain development in children, but to make children smarter, their brains need proper exercise. Here are some brain-training games that are perfect for children aged 2 to those in primary school!

1. Maze and Spot-the-Difference Activities
Although mazes and spot-the-difference games were popular when we were young, they remain valuable tools for children today. These brain-training activities come in various forms; any image-based game that requires children to observe and concentrate to complete tasks qualifies as a brain exercise. For instance, are you familiar with “Where’s Wally?”—one of the most popular brain games worldwide?

In fact, brain games don’t necessarily need to be purchased or printed in books; you can easily create them at home. For example, parents can hide two candies among a pile of clutter, and children will surely focus intently to find them!

2. Organizing and Categorizing Household Items
Everyday life offers excellent opportunities for brain training, such as tidying up and sorting. Organizing items systematically not only enhances children’s organizational skills but also encourages their creativity. Sometimes, children may classify items differently than adults, but their methods can be quite logical. Parents might ask children why they categorize items in a certain way, discovering that children’s observational skills can be sharper than expected. They often use details they observe for classification, so parents should avoid imposing adult categorization methods to prevent stifling their problem-solving initiative.

You might wonder what to do if your child dislikes tidying up. Before children develop the habit of organizing and sorting household items, it’s essential to start with games to boost their motivation to complete “missions.” For instance, you could hold a “Room Organization Contest” or “Clean-Up Day,” encouraging family members to help each other tidy up, which also serves as a fun way to exercise their brains!

3. Memory Games
There are many memory card games available, such as flipping over a set of cards and taking turns to reveal two at a time. If the cards match, players keep them. Additionally, there are cards with different pictures on them that parents can lay out for children to see, then flip them over and ask children to identify where a specific item is located. These are excellent memory games, and both adults and children can add creativity by changing the rules to make them more interesting.

Beyond card games, everyday life is full of opportunities for memory games. For example, you can ask children to find items they’ve seen you place somewhere, or have them put away some objects and later ask them to retrieve them after a certain period.

In summary, training children’s brains and intelligence is not difficult at all. With a bit of thought and creativity, many everyday details can provide opportunities for children to think critically!

未分類未分類

鍛練小腦袋「腦力」訓練小遊戲

system

撰文：公開大學幼兒教育學士課程兼職講師梁嘉敏

DHA 只是供應孩子腦部發展的養分，要孩子變得聰明，大腦必須得到適當的鍛鍊。今次就為大家介紹一些腦袋鍛鍊小遊戲，十分適合2歲至就讀小學的兒童呢！

1. 迷宮或找不同等腦圖練習
雖然迷宮和找不同等腦圖練習是我們小時候的玩意，但到了這個年代，它們依然是孩子的良師益友。腦圖練習除了迷宮、找不同外，還有很多不同的模式，總之凡是需要孩子觀察和專注地完成任務的圖像遊戲，均屬於腦圖練習。不知道大家是否認識Wally（中譯《威利在哪裡？》），它就是世上其中最受歡迎的腦圖遊戲。

其實腦圖遊戲不一定需要購買，也不一定印在書本上，我們在家中也可輕易製作腦圖遊戲。例如家長可以在一堆雜物中放兩顆瑞士糖，那孩子一定會很用心地找出來呢！

2. 收拾家中物件　並把物件分類
其實日常生活上不同的環節，也是鍛鍊腦筋的大好機會，例如收拾和分類。把物件有條理地分類，不單能提升孩子的組織能力，更能發揮孩子的創意。有時孩子的分類方法可能跟我們成年人不同，不過也不無他們的道理，家長不妨問一下孩子為甚麼會這樣分類，你便會發現原來孩子的觀察力可能比你更強，他們會用他們觀察到的細節作分類，所以家長不應要孩子根據成年人眼中的分類方法，以免打擊他們自我解難的主動性。

你可能會問，我家孩子不喜歡收拾物件，那該怎麼辦呢？在孩子還未養成收拾家中物品和分類的習慣時，一定要從遊戲開始，以提升孩子花氣力去完成「使命」的動機。例如可以舉辦「房間鬥整齊比賽」或「阿四日」，讓家庭成員互相幫大家執房等活動，以鼓勵孩子收拾和分類，也可以鍛鍊一下「腦力」!

3. 考記憶遊戲
坊間有很多記憶遊戲卡，例如把十數張牌反轉，輪流翻開兩張，如果翻開了相同的卡牌，便可以拿到自己手上。另外，坊間亦有些繪有不同物件的圖卡，家長可將它們打開排成一行，讓孩子看了然後反轉，再問孩子某一件物件在哪一張卡上。這些均是很好的記憶力遊戲，成年人或孩子更可以發揮更多創意，變換一下玩法以增加趣味性。

除了記憶遊戲卡之外，在日常生活中也蘊含著豐富的記憶遊戲，例如我們可以叫孩子找出一些他們曾經見過你放在哪裡的物件，或者可以叫孩子自己收起一些物件，然後在一段長時間後找出來等等。

總結而言，要訓練孩子的腦力和智力其實一點也不難，只要花一點心思，發揮一下創意，很多生活中的細節也是讓孩子動腦筋的機會！

有關「聖誕樹親子環保設計比賽」結果公布事宜

感謝家長與子女參加聖誕樹親子環保設計比賽，所有呈交作品具創意及美感。經過全校家長及幼兒網上投票喜歡作品後。現將結果公布如下，敬請家長留意。

「家長眼中」的作品

冠軍 – 下K1A 劉逸童

亞軍 – 上K2B 曾楚欣

季軍 – 上K2A 楊慕嘉

優異獎 – 上K2A 夏健朗

優異獎 – 上K2A 劉雋謙

優異獎 – 上K3A 張哲睿

「幼兒眼中」的作品

冠軍- 上K2B 楊濤銘

亞軍 – 下K3A 陳貝萓

季軍 – 上K2B 陳諾衡

優異獎- 上K1B 姜芊羽

優異獎 – 上K3A 霍瀅善

優異獎- 上K3B 李鈞軒

恭喜以上各得獎者。

　　本校十分欣賞各位幼兒和家長用心設計創作，凡參加比賽者均獲頒「積極參與獎」，以茲讚賞。本校已於eClass Parent App「數碼頻道」的相簿內與大家分享美麗的得獎作品。

東華三院徐展堂幼稚園謹啟

Why Are Children Afraid to Communicate with Their Parents?

文章作者由system
发布日期 10/01/2025
Why Are Children Afraid to Communicate with Their Parents?无评论

system

Written by: Dr. Tik Chi-yuen, Director of Hong Kong Institute of Family Education

Last weekend, I attended a parent seminar where it was mentioned that parents should establish a close communication relationship with their children. Nowadays, young people rarely confide in their parents when facing difficulties. During the open discussion, a father asked me, “My son is in Form 3, and we rarely talk, especially about his feelings. How can I build a communication relationship with him?” I believe many parents have faced similar issues, especially as their children grow. Why is it so difficult to establish heartfelt communication with our children?

When children are young, communication seems to be straightforward and without issues. However, as they grow into adolescence, parents often find communication suddenly becomes challenging. Some parents say that communication has become “one sentence against nine,” meaning when parents say one thing, children respond with nine counterarguments, making effective communication difficult. What is the problem? It lies in the topics and attitudes we adopt when communicating with our children.

When we come home each day, the first question we often ask our children is, “Have you finished your homework?” We constantly remind them to take a shower, tidy up their toys, do their homework, and review their lessons. This creates a daily routine filled with tasks. When the parent-child relationship becomes task-oriented, both sides feel exhausted. Some parents feel drained by having to manage their children’s responsibilities every day, and children feel overwhelmed as well. When our conversations revolve around tasks and chores, children gradually perceive talking to parents as a source of pressure, leading them to be less willing to communicate.

Regarding attitude, parents need to reflect and reassess their approach. We often have too many criticisms and reprimands about our children’s performance. When their handwriting is messy, we correct it and ask them to rewrite it; when they barely pass a test, we express our dissatisfaction. We frequently compare our children with others, diminishing their achievements. This overly critical and comparative attitude makes children feel that their parents are never satisfied, which is difficult for them to handle and also undermines their self-confidence. Just as we dislike harsh bosses, children also feel distanced from parents who constantly criticize them, leading them to avoid sharing their thoughts and feelings.

With these issues at hand, how can we improve? If our children are still young, we should immediately work on improving the content and attitude of our communication. We should discuss topics of mutual interest, especially happy experiences. Additionally, we should appreciate our children’s strengths and offer more encouragement and support. If our children are already in their teenage years, we need to learn to be friends with them, listen more, and nag less. We should first open up to them about our feelings to encourage them to share their thoughts with us as well. The bond between parents and children is inherently one of affection; we can build an intimate communication relationship by putting in the effort.

一言九「頂」為何子女怕與父母溝通？

system

撰文：香港家庭教育學院總監狄志遠博士

上周末筆者出席一個家長講座，其中提到家長要與子女建立親密的溝通關係，因現時的年輕人當遇到困難時，甚少會向自己的父母傾訴。在公開討論環節時，有一位父親向筆者提問：「我的兒子讀中三，平時很少與他傾談，特別是內心說話。那我應該如何建立溝通關係呢？」筆者相信不少家長都曾經面對過同樣的問題，特別是面對日漸成長的子女，為甚麼我們沒法與子女建立傾心訴意的溝通關係呢？

當子女年幼時，我們與子女溝通及傾談，似乎沒有甚麼問題及困難。但當子女日漸成長，到了青年期時，我們會發現與子女溝通突然出現困難。有家長表示，與子女溝通變得「一言九頂」，家長講一句，子女頂九句，大家都不能有效溝通。問題在哪些方面呢？問題在於我們與子女溝通的話題和態度。

當每天回到家中，我們向子女說的第一句話是「你做完功課了嗎？」每日我們都呼喝要子女洗澡、執玩具、做功課和溫默書等等，每天與子女都要處理大量事情。當親子關係變成事工關係時，大家都感到疲倦，有家長因每天要處理子女的事情，更感到心力交瘁，而子女同樣感到吃不消。當我們每天與子女傾談的都是事工、一些任務時，子女漸漸感到與父母傾談是一種壓力，自然地也不願意與父母繼續傾談。

至於態度方面，家長的確要好好反思及檢討，因我們每天都對子女的表現有太多的批評及責罵。當子女的字寫得不夠工整，我們會擦去並要求子女重寫修正；當子女默書只取得剛好合格的成績，我們會表示不滿意。我們又時常把子女與別人的子女比較，眨低子女的表現。這些過於批評及比較的態度，令子女覺得父母對自己多麼不滿，難於滿足及應付，同時更打擊子女的自信心。我們對於一些惡形惡相的上司會感到討厭，同樣子女對於常批評自己的父母也會感到有距離感，於是子女變得不想與我們傾談，訴說心事。

問題出現了，應該如何改善呢？如果現時子女年紀尚幼，我們要馬上改善與子女溝通的內容及態度，多傾談一些有共同興趣的話題，特別是一些開心的事情。另外，我們要多欣賞子女的優點，給予更多的鼓勵及支持。如果子女已到青年期，我們要學習與子女做朋友，多聆聽、少囉唆，自己先向子女傾心事，以鼓勵他們同樣能與父母分享心中感受。我們與子女，生來就是有親情關係，建立親密溝通關係，用心去做就可以了。